On the list of “bone-headed things government bureaucrats with more power than common sense decide to inflict upon the general populace in the name of the common good” (I never said it was a very good list title), the Osaka prefectural health minister has declared a week-long closing of all high schools, in order to contain the recent diagnosed cases of the swine flu in Toyonaka, Suita, and Ibaraki.

So just to get this straight: in order to protect the students and prevent a wide-spread outbreak in high schools throughout the prefecture, we’re going to enforce a district-wide holiday where, rather than being sequestered to the relative safety of their regular classrooms, they are instead given no choice but to congregate in city centers with other students from all around Osaka with a lot of free time on their hands are going to gather?

Ironically, the persons who now stand the best chance of avoiding the outbreak altogether are the teachers, who, of course, are required to hold down the fort. Obviously it is more important to make sure that these particular public servants, well-known for their shamelessly slothful behavior, aren’t allowed to take advantage of this golden opportunity to go home and slack off. Sure, they run the risk that the teachers might spread the flu amongst themselves and continue incubating the virus until the return of the students next Monday, but that’s a risk that local health officials are willing for the teachers to take.

Oh yeah, this is going to go well.